AS IF...

Lying in bed this morning your nagging alarm clock begins to sound demanding that you get out of bed and start your day. Something that you are sarcastically really excited to begin because all you have ever wanted in life is being fulfilled single handily from your work desk. Reluctantly, you ooze from the bed and begin your ritual for starting your day. Slowly, you drive to work looking for any excuse to prolong your arrival. So you stop at Starbucks for a Grande in the hopes that its magical properties will mix with your 8am shot of 5 hour energy giving you what you need to make it through the morning; all the while wondering to yourself "Why they don't make an 8 hour energy supplement?"  As you walk into the building you are greeted by co-works who are just as happy as you are to be there which sets the tone for your morning. In a trance like state you begin your work as you gaze at the clock waiting for lunch to arrive. "This isn't the job I wanted." you tell yourself as you secretly look at the Careerbuilder job postings that pop up on your iPhone while longing for a change. Finally, lunch time has arrived; well its ten minutes prior to your designated break time but hey you need to get away and no one is watching anyway right? While at lunch you sit with a couple of co-works and the three of you commiserate over the mundane nature of your work building a laundry list of complaints when you think to yourself "Why can't I just be happy?"

  

If you have ever felt this way you then you know how trapped you feel in this situation and if you are currently feeling like as though your career is in a rut I want to offer you hope. This all too common feeling of career burnout seems as though it may be impossible to solve. You feel stressed out in your job so you acquire a new one only to feel the same way in that job less than 2 years later. Is it that you continue to take on unfulfilled work or could it be the way you view the work that you do? 

LANGUAGE PATTERNS

Kim was a sales women for a medical device company and did well for herself. When she originally got into sales 12 years ago she did so hoping to make the BIG bucks. She would work hard learning the product knowledge, she met with the companies top performers to learn their strategies, and focused on building her pipeline for success. After 12 years there seem to be really only one consistent pattern that emerged from the prior 12 year work history and that was her consistent company changes. Looking at Kim's resume one could not help but to wonder why she moved companies nearly every three years. Feeling stressed out and burned out in her current sales role it seemed as though Sarah was feeling as something was missing although she couldn’t pin point the problem. Coming up on her third year with her current employer Kim was starting to look for a new opportunity and was feeling quit stressed over finding the right position. She was even considering getting out of sales all together and was exploring her options in other fields despite the fact that her sales number were fantastic. It seemed as though Kim was experiencing a mild crisis of identity and really looking for fulfillment from her next job. What Kim was unaware of at the time was here guiding values and belief system that  had been directing her behaviors. When working with Kim it was important to have her identify immediately some of the assumptions that she held regarding a career in sale. After a couple of quick exercises Kim learned that she held a value deep inside her that women CANNOT attain the same success levels of men in business, that women MUST work twice as hard as men, that women can ONLY make half the money that men do despite their effort, and that there are NO advancement opportunities for women like there are for men. The Great Psychologist Carl Jung stated the "Perception is projection." meaning that the perceptions that we hold at a deep level regarding the world around us will be projected into the world in which we operate. Kim held deep beliefs that she MUST work harder than her male counter parts and even though she would do twice the work she could NEVER earn as much money or attain the same level of advancement; and as her resume reflected she project her limitations into her world and sought out new career opportunities due to her perceived limitations. Reviewing here sales track record it was clear that she would always attain a level of success that did not exceed her male counterparts and when her sales projections were trending toward the top 5% of sales people in the organization she felt the urge to leave the company; why?  Because she was afraid that she would meet her sales projections. Interestingly enough the very thing that she wanted, the BIG money was the very thing that she would ran from because her desire to attain her financial goal ran counter to her value system that she is NOT allowed to attain that goal because she is a WOMEN. By attaining the level of financial success that she desired she would have no longer been a WOMEN but something else entirely and that threatened her identity. So to avoid becoming non-women she preserved her identity by switching jobs and starting over rather than experience the fruits of her labor and rising above her male counterparts.

By listening to Kim describe her value system it is impossible to look passed he language patterns. She used words like MUST, ONLY, and NEVER which are generalizations that prevent you from seeing a world with options. This type of language at a subconscious level is communicating to your conscious mind that you do not have free will to act, feel, or think the way that you want to. No wonder she was feeling lost and uncertain about her life, career, and her very identity. Imagine how you would feel or how you might be feeling right now thinking about your life with no free will; You would feel TRAPPED! Being trapped is linked to your survival instinct; the level of your being that needs to preserve itself for the sake of life. By utilizing the language patterns that Kim was using she was relating to her performance as a life or death situation for which she had no control. To attain the success she wanted would mean certain death but to not reach her goals made her feel insignificant which becomes an extremely difficult place to be.

“AS IF”

Now, going back to the original scenario the ladies are all sitting around the lunch table spewing their feelings about the company and their position and all your really wanting is to be happy. My suggestion? Excuse yourself from the table and find a quite place that you can go to be alone. Breaking patterns is a great way to begin to complete alter your states of mind which prepares you for a transformation. If you really desire change in your life and you want to be happy no matter where you are and what you’re are doing then you have to embody the change; you need to live “As if” the change had already taken place and pursue life in a manner that is matter of fact. That can all start with some pretty simple pattern changes and external model influences. By removing yourself from the discussion you can take yourself away from the negative language patterns that are influencing you and begin to replace them with more empowering words and values. Be aware that we become what were surround ourselves with. If you surround yourself with people how devalue themselves and use language patterns that steal away the free will then eventually you will take on the say patterns of belief. You have heard the phrase “Fake it until you make.” Well, the “As if” process is similar but where the fake it until you make process breaks down the “As if” process really goes to work. By living the changed life we engage the subconscious mind to gravitate toward the life we want, pulling us to it. Our subconscious mind is always working and one of its functions is to act like a magnate pulling us toward our subconscious desires. By focusing on the change that you want you will be able to develop a road map for getting to where you want to be. In the first scenario all you are looking for is to be happy. So each and every day spend 10 minutes in a quiet place and really envision your changed life. The way that you carry yourself; the body language you use to communicate happiness to others. Picture how you talk to people and the positive language you use to communicate your happy values. Continue this process every day growing to 20 minutes of meditation time speaking out loud that you are happy. Just do this for 10 day (business days) and if you do not see a change in your life and the way you view things then you need to revise your goals and recalibrate your mantra’s or incantations and try it again. If you are truly committed to being happy and you tell yourself that you are allowed to be happy then you will be happy. Embody the change, Gandhi once said "Be the change you want to see in the world." What Gandhi is saying is embody the change, become the change in every way everyday and the change will begin to form in your life.

Here are a couple of things you can do everyday to start working toward what you want:

1. Develop a Mantra - A Mantra is a word or a phrase that you use to command your subconscious mind to focus on a new set of values that redirect your behaviors. Thus embodying the change you want to become. Mantras are verbal incantations that involve the body and the mind; they are to be said out loud emotionally with intent and focus. For example: Everyday in Every way I grow (fill in the blank - stronger, wealthier, happier) BECAUSE (the because part is important because reasons create direction and demand action; it creates mental importance). So one of my first Mantras that I used went something like this.

     Everyday in every way I AM EMPOWERED because my God in heaven gives me strength and the courage to face anything. I would repeat this for 10 or more minutes out loud on my ride into work. The more intensity you use and the more opportunity you have to focus on your mantra the greater the reprogramming effect you will experience.

2. Change up your routines and your patterns - For example, first thing in the morning I use to wake up, take a shower, then go down stairs to have breakfast. To break my pattern I ate breakfast first then took a shower. breaking your patterns reaffirms that you have choice, that you are not trapped by your routine. Additionally, it helps to create a sense that changes is possible, voluntary and not harmful - because we have been trained cultural that change is SCARY when its not; in fact change is necessary.

3. Choose your influences - Like the initial example, if you continue you to mingle with those with negative belief sets then you will eventually develop them. Instead of meeting with them everyday perhaps you can reduce lunches together to a weekly activity so that you can have some time to spend with yourself engaged in more positive behaviors. Or find someone in the company that you admire and see if they would like to have lunch. You don't have to change your friends but your circle of influence should be positive and if it is not then you need to focus on what you want more immediately and when you are better equipped to ward off their negativity then incorporate them back into your life in a productive way.

This is in no way a comprehensive plan to create lasting change but it will help alter your state of mind and begin to help pull you away from defeating beliefs and behaviors and get you to focus in the right direction. If you are serious about specifically outlining your goals and developing strategies to obtain what it is that you want then I encourage you to begin learning some of these techniques. You can get books from the local library or find a class or seminar that will work with you to develop the skills needed to create lasting change in your life. 

 It is my hope that you get what you want this year!