GAME PLAN:

GAME PLAN:

 It is a New Year and everyone is excited to start with a clean slate! Now, I don’t want to be the bearer of bad news here but you are caring stuff over from the prior year/s into this new beginning. If you really want to get yourself setup for success as you steamroll into 2013 then you need to understand what you are carrying with you and then decided what you need this year to accomplish what you want.

CARRY OVER:

Each year people welcome the New Year as an opportunity to do some new things or at least do some things differently; go to the gym more, eat a better diet, save more money, take more vacations, spend more time with family, etc… you know what I am talking about. The thing is when people begin this new way of doing things they fail to change their thinking about the end goal they wish to achieve and their approach to obtaining their desires remains the same. We carry over from the previous year or years the beliefs about our desires, abilities, and resources needed to accomplish these so called New Year’s Resolutions. In Romans 12:2 Paul writes “Do not conform to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind…”As we enter into the new year we need to come with fresh (renewed) perspective; a clean lens in which we view our approach to accomplishing our goals. If we conform to the world or to those around us we place limitations on our ability to think more creatively about how to approach our goals. Also, it is important to break out of our own patterns that have become the conditioned responses that further limit us. Some are familiar with the saying “The definition of crazy is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.” Patterns can trap and bind us making the efforts we make seem like we are truly trying to work hard toward our goals when in reality we are only doing what we have always done before (this is the Treadmill effect – working really hard and going nowhere). If you continue to do the exact same things over and over doing it harder or faster doesn’t change the fact that it is the same old process. The parable of thenew wine in old wine skins can be found in Matthew 9:17; Mark 2:22; Luke 5:37-39 the essential theme of this parable helps us to understand that if we take new ideologies or beliefs and mix them in with old beliefs we can corrupt the new understanding to the point where it can actually cause damage rather than preserve good. Year after year people set goals only to abandon them by mid February. Most of the time people are ready to pursue something new, to make some type of change but, unfortunately, they add these new desires and new ideas with their old ways of thinking and doing things, which eventually leads to failed pursuits. Paul is giving us a strategy for goal attainment in that he is saying we need to first begin with changing how we think about our goals and the beliefs we hold regarding them. Our thinking leads to beliefs, good or bad, and ultimately develops into the motivations that lead us to action. Paul was inspired by God to share this information with us; it is NECESSARY to get your thinking right before you begin to drive yourself toward any of your planned goals.

RENEWED UNDERSTANDING:

In order to renew your thinking you need to dig in for a moment and really understand what you believe about your particular end result. Here is a step by step guide to help you identify what it is you believe about your goal/s.

1. Identify what the goal is and write it down - Lose weight, eat healthier, make more money, take more vacations, spend more time with family, etc.
2. Once you have written down your goal ask yourself what you believe you will gain from achieving this goal. “I will be able to do activities that I would never have been able to do before if I lose weight”, “I will be healthier if I eat better making me feel better”, “I can afford more if I make more money”, “I will feel like I contribute more, or matter more, or I will be a good parent if I spend more time with the family.”
3.  Identify the emotions you will feel once this goal has been achieved.
   1. Happiness, fulfillment, love, contentment, accomplished, etc… you can feel more than one main emotion.
4. Identify which of the 6 Human Needs the goal attainment will fulfill for you (can be more than 1 so prioritize them).
   1. Certainty/Comfort. We all want comfort. And much of this comfort comes from certainty. Of course there is no ABSOLUTE certainty, but we want certainty the car will start, the water will flow from the tap when we turn it on and the currency we use will hold its value.
   2. Variety. At the same time we want certainty, we also crave variety. Paradoxically, there needs to be enough UNcertainty to provide spice and adventure in our lives.
   3. Significance. Deep down, we all want to be important. We want our life to have meaning and significance. I can imagine no worse a death than to think my life didn’t matter.
   4. Connection/Love. It would be hard to argue against the need for love. We want to feel part of a community. We want to be cared for and cared about.
   5. Growth. There could be some people who say they don’t want to grow, but I think they’re simply fearful of doing so—or perhaps NOT doing so. To become better, to improve our skills, to stretch and excel may be more evident in some than others, but it’s there.
   6. Contribution. The desire to contribute something of value—to help others, to make the world a better place than we found it is in all of us.
5. To complete the evaluation of your understanding you now need to find alternatives.
   1. Look at the needs fulfilled and the emotions that are attached to the goal accomplishment. Are there alternatives to meeting the same needs and emotional responses associated with the goal attainment? If there are no alternatives and accomplishing this goal is a MUST for you then your ability to be motivated and to sustain your motivation is high. However, if you can identify 1 or more alternatives it is possible that those alternatives can pull you away from your intended goal.
   2. It is very common that when people set out to meet a particular goal that they abandon that goal in lieu of something else that meets the same needs with less effort (let’s face it, we are a instant gratification society). When something is a MUST for you, you do whatever it takes to make it happen. But if you believe that the end result is optional and you do not actually need it you will quite pursuing it at the first real signs of adversity. This step is critical because you want to make sure that you are setting yourself up for success; don’t pursuing a goal that you know you will ultimate abandon a couple of months down the road. Before you begin that actual process of goal planning write down your goal and what it means to you to accomplish it. Fully describe what it will mean to you emotionally and how obtaining what you want will improve your life. Once you have completed this task then you are ready to begin the process of establishing goals that are truly attainable and sustainable.

Illustration:

Goal: To learn Spanish so that I can be more competitive in the job market.

Achieving this Goal Will: Allow me to gain a promotion at work so that I can take on the role of team leader/manager and make more money.

Emotional Fulfillment: I will feel more appreciated and needed.

Human Needs: Significant, certain, contribution, growth

Alternatives: There is another position that I can apply for with my employer and a couple of competitors that I can apply for that do not require me to speak Spanish.

Conclusion: I don’t need to speak Spanish to gain a promotion or to feel significance or certainty. To feel more significant I can volunteer at work and church and I am already certain about my current role and the financial stability in my life. If I step up my productivity then I know that I will not be in jeopardy of losing my current position.

Do I set a Goal Plan then to learn Spanish? NO – there are other ways that will assist me in meeting my needs of significance, contribution, and certainty

NEXT STEP/ GOAL SHIFT: I can Apply for the internal Job posting at work and to the other companies that I have identified. Additionally, I can look for volunteer opportunities at work and church. I can still learn Spanish but it is not a must for me.

FINAL WORDS:

In this example this person really only wanted to take Spanish for the sake of taking Spanish (which may fulfill their need for growth). The individual had a false perception that a new language skill would make them more competitive in an market that showed great opportunities for a non-Spanish speaker. In the end, they were able to save the money and time it would have taken to acquire the new language skill and it freed them up to pursue goals that would ultimately satisfy more of their NEEDS.

Clearly, this scenario was only presented as a demonstration of the process used to evaluate what your underlying motivations are. Once you have identified what you REALLY want/need then it will make it that much easier to create a direct path to getting it. Keep in mind that God wants you to have the desires of your heart (Psalms 37:4 “Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.”) and he wants you to live in abundance.

The Love Debt

Romans Chapter 13:8 reads "Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another..." It is in the second part of this verse the "Debt to love" that I would like to focus on in this post.

Payment for Debt:

We all know that debt is something that we owe out of obligation; something that must be paid or rendered. Debt has been a part of human history for thousands of years. We can look at the ancient Greeks, Egyptians, Romans, etc... and see that debt and the process to make payment was established very early on. One of the ways that payment was allowed to be made was through a process called "Debt Bondage" in which a person who owed something would pledge their lives in service to the debtor. In exchange, the debtor would pay for the persons food, clothes, shelter, and applied labor to the debt owed. in the later part of the 17th century the term was referred to as indentured servitude - This form of payment is what made it possible for a lot of American Colonist to get to America from Europe. The person wanting to come to American would give themselves in debt to a wealthier person who would pay for their passage to America, house them, cloth and feed them until their obligation was paid. Though the vast majority of those in Indentured Servitude would not live long enough to pay their debt in full. 

So how does this relate?

In Romans Chapter 13:8 I believe that Paul is saying that we should forever be in debt to love. That like the indentured servant we are to pledge ourselves to love and that for the remainder of our lives we need to serve love. One aspect of debt bondage and indentured servitude is that you could possibly pay off your debt and be freed from it at some point. It seems to me that Paul wants us to know that we can never love enough to ever "Pay it off" that we should stay in debt to it. God is the master in which we owe ourselves, Christ was the ultimate example of love that we need to follow, and we need to pledge ourselves to God and the ministry of Christ. God will feed us, clothe us, take care of our basic needs, and ultimately through Christ pay our Passage to heaven. Paul is reminding us of this and that we need to labor in love as payment for Grace.

Implications for us.

Love or connection is what brings all of us together and should be something that we seek to provide to others. In fact, love and connection is a primary human need and the lack of it can manifest in numerous negative ways in your life. Depression is the most common result of a lost feeling of love and connection and one of the criteria for a diagnosis of depression is rapid weight loss which is typically a result of not eating. This indicates to me that at the very core level of health that the emotional needs of people supersede that of the physical body. We need to feel love and we need to be connected; it is our nature. When we fail to love or connect we begin to die emotionally and it can eventually lead to our physical death. Paul is informing us that if we love others unconditionally we lay a strong foundation that will allow us to be loved and create needed connections that allow us to thrive in life. Paul is giving us a strategy for meeting our human needs. 

If we can adopt this love service we will not only experience a level of connection with those in our lives like never before but we can experience connection with God that creates true life fulfillment. It says in 1 John 4:8 Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. To love someone else is to know God and is to be a demonstration of God in the world. Our debt or obligation is to repay God's Grace of salvation through the love that we provided to others.

How Can we Implement this today?

listed here are a few ways that you can begin to repay the love debt:

1. Random Acts of Kindness - for example, the next time you are at the check out counter leave a couple of dollars at the register for the person behind you to help them pay for their items. Now, you can do something different of course like giving a couple of dollars to the homeless, stopping on the side of the road to help someone with car trouble, write thank you cards to coworkers, or whatever else you can think of. The idea here is that you would practice these random acts so often that they turn from conscious actions to habitual ones.

2. Volunteer your time - Choose a charity, church, company program, or any other type of organization that interest you and donate some time. If you love animals find a shelter, if you have kids volunteer at the school, if you have parents that you care for and live in an assistance home help out a couple of hours a week, etc... the idea is that you are willing to give beyond yourself. Contribution beyond yourself is one of the Human Needs that leads to life fulfillment and is it can be meet through the donation of your precious time.

3. Sacrifice your Interest - This is about deepening your current relationships. If you are in a relationship (dating or married) and/or have children there is no better way to demonstrate your love with them and strengthen your relationship. In sacrificing your interest you take yourself out of the equation and focus completely on someone else's needs and desires. If your significant other loves the ballet but the thought of seeing other men dancing around in tights for 2 hours make you sink I say get out of your own way and take her to the ballet. Risk being physically sink if you have to in order to show her that you love her. Be willing to go that extra mile to show her you love her. If your kids would like for you to tag along on a school field trip to the penny factor and you are allergic to Copper go with them and support them in the passion for penny's. Hopefully, you understand that I am being a bit silly and I certainly would not want you to harm yourself to show your love but what I am saying is that initially we all need to get out of our comfort zones and place others above ourselves. If we sacrifice our own needs and desires so that someone else can experience theirs then we truly know what it means to be in debt to love.

It is my hope that this has at least sparked your interest and that you want to begin to look at what you can do to be fully in debt to love and how it can really change your life.